Rebelution meets Senioritis

All throughout high school I'd heard about and been warned about senioritis. It seemed to get worse with every new senior class.

senioritis -
noun
1. A crippling disease that strikes high school seniors.  Symptoms include: laziness, an over-excessive wearing of track pants, old athletic shirts, sweatpants, athletic shorts, and sweatshirts. Also features a lack of studying, repeated absences, and a generally dismissive attitude.
The only known cure is a phenomenon known as Graduation

As a freshman I only saw it towards the end of the year, but my junior year it seemed to strike the whole senior class as early as first semester. I always thought it was a stupid manifestation of the low expectations our culture has for teenagers.  I told myself I would never give in to such Satanic influences.  I was determined to be that light for the whole school to see what could happen if a person lived in God's kingdom.

And then I became a senior.

I understand now why it's considered a "disease."  It's never a conscious choice that I make to give into senioritis.  Instead it's an overwhelming and otherwise unexplainable urge to put less effort into my schoolwork.  And it really is a testament to the devil's influence in our culture that we put a name to sinful tendencies and they suddenly become socially acceptable or at least excusable.  By labeling sin we ignore that it is still sin and needs to be repented of.  Lately God has placed on my heart that just because I can call it senioritis and just because I'm expected to do it doesn't make it acceptable to God.

I had been so focused on thinking about the hard things I would do in my future, after college, that I let myself slip into doing the easy things now.  Before I knew it I had fallen into sin and the culture's low expectations of me.  And now that I'm there it seems so difficult to get out again that a large part of me wants to just turn from the mountain and head back into the valley until a more opportune time.  But if I don't start up the mountain now, then when God calls me to His service, I'll still be at the bottom of the valley and I won't be able to serve Him.  I have to get started.

"Thrive"

Casting Crowns has a new album out called "Thrive." There are a number of songs in it which really spoke to me. The description of the song "Love You With the Truth" made me think about the kind of friend I'm being:

“This song is about a person realizing that they’ve been a really cruddy friend because they haven’t shared the truth with the person closest to them. A lot of people will say, ‘I want to share the gospel with my friend, but I don’t want to ruin my friendship.’ What you are really saying is ‘I love my friendship more than I love my friend and I don’t want to lose them by giving them this to save them.’ That’s what this song says. It’s tough, but it’s truth.”

I grew up under the teaching that if you were a kind person and loved everyone then your actions were associated with Christ and that was enough to be a witness.  As I've matured I've learned that this isn't the case but I still haven't changed my interactions with my unbelieving friends to reflect this.  Not only do I have more unbelieving friends than saved friends, but there have actually been friends who have turned their backs on Christ.  Lately I've been discouraged by this, but this album made me understand that I'm the one responsible to doing something about this.  And in some cases that needs to be something more than praying for them.

Another song that spoke to me was "Heroes":

He walks the halls, against the flow
He sees his high school as his mission field
Hes broken cause he knows
The hopeless road that they are taking
The empty feelings they are chasing only lead to futures wasted
So hes willing to stand alone 

He lives what he believes when they all say its not worth believing
Every night on his knees, he prays God, wont You please help me reach them?

The final verse of "Love You With the Truth" convinced me that I need to change.  Now I need to bring this into my relationships even though it might be hard and I might lose friends over it.  I can't just do what is convenient or comfortable for me.

How Ive prayed for this moment, that you would finally see
That God is more than religion, a stained-glass fantasy
And how Ive prayed for the courage, for my silent faith to speak
Or that God would just send you a better friend than me

If by Rudyard Kipling

If you can keep your head when all about you
Are losing theirs and blaming it on you;
If you can trust yourself when all men doubt you,
But make allowance for their doubting too:
If you can wait and not be tired by waiting,
Or, being lied about, don't deal in lies,
Or being hated don't give way to hating,
And yet don't look too good, nor talk too wise; 

If you can dream---and not make dreams your master;
If you can think---and not make thoughts your aim,
If you can meet with Triumph and Disaster
And treat those two impostors just the same:.
If you can bear to hear the truth you've spoken
Twisted by knaves to make a trap for fools,
Or watch the things you gave your life to, broken,
And stoop and build'em up with worn-out tools; 

If you can make one heap of all your winnings
And risk it on one turn of pitch-and-toss,
And lose, and start again at your beginnings,
And never breathe a word about your loss:
If you can force your heart and nerve and sinew
To serve your turn long after they are gone,
And so hold on when there is nothing in you
Except the Will which says to them: "Hold on!" 

If you can talk with crowds and keep your virtue,
Or walk with Kings---nor lose the common touch,
If neither foes nor loving friends can hurt you,
If all men count with you, but none too much:
If you can fill the unforgiving minute
With sixty seconds' worth of distance run,
Yours is the Earth and everything that's in it,
And---which is more---you'll be a Man, my son!

Matthew 5:39-42

I was at a college visiting the other day and was challenged to read through the gospels a chapter a day to find things that I would normally just skim over.  Today I was struck by this passage and I feel challenged to live it out in my life.

"But I say to you, do not resist the one who is evil.  But if anyone slaps you on the right cheek, turn to him the other also.  And if anyone would sue you and take your tunic, let him have your cloak as well.  And if anyone forces you to go one mile, go with him two miles.  Give to the one who begs from you, and do not refuse the one who would borrow from you."

Blessings

This week has been difficult with all the stress I've had from school and everything on top of it.  But tonight I'm very thankful for the blessings that I have, especially in the form of friends.  I have so many people that I know I can talk to whenever I need to.  I know I have many flaws and if I were friends with myself I would get fed up with me within a week.  So I'm thankful for all my friends who continue to put up with me and help me.
I'm particularly thankful for my brothers and sisters in Christ because sometimes it feels lonely to lead a Christian life in this world and I'm thankful for my family to lean on when I need encouragement.  We might not all see eye to eye but I know that I can trust them and their friendship means the world to me.

Philippians 2:12-18

Kinda crazy but I haven't posted all summer and on Thursday I go back to school.  Senior year is going to be very busy for me.  I may have bitten off more than I can chew, but it's all stuff that's good for me in theory.  If nothing else I will get a lesson in not worrying, in trusting, and in time management.  I've been in Philippians for a large part of the summer, and in the current circumstances, this passage speaks to me especially.

Therefore, my beloved, as you have always obeyed, so now, not only as in my presence but much more in my absence, work out your own salvation with fear and trembling, for it is God who works in you, both to will and to work for his good pleasure.
Do all things without grumbling or disputing, that you may be blameless and innocent, children of God without blemish in the midst of a crooked and twisted generation, among whom you shine as lights in the world, holding fast to the word of life, so that in the day of Christ I may be proud that I did not run in vain or labor in vain. Even if I am to be poured out as a drink offering upon the sacrificial offering of your faith, I am glad and rejoice with you all.  Likewise you also should be glad and rejoice with me.

School

School is just about over for me.  Very soon I will be a senior and then it's off to college in just over a year.  I think I'm one of the most excited juniors in my school in terms of my willingness to leave high school behind.  But that's a whole different story.
It's interesting to look back over the years.  When I was younger I really enjoyed learning.  I remember spending my entire summers working through long lists of books and counting down the days until the first day back to school.  Up until high school, I loved going to school.  In fact, less than a week would go by and I would already be wishing for school to start again.  I can't remember a single summer until after 8th grade where this wasn't true.
There are a couple of reasons why this changed after 8th grade.  One was that I started working and traveling in the summer more often so I had less time just sitting around the house.  Another is that the high school starts about two weeks before the middle school.  Not to mention that with marching band I've actually been around the school for a good two weeks before the first day.  The biggest reason was probably my dread for starting high school.  And since then, my general dislike for the high school curriculum.
Regardless of the reasons, I've always been excited, even just a little, about starting school the following fall.  I'm sure that come August I'll be more than enthusiastic about starting my senior year.  But right now, for the first time in my life, I am really looking forward to slowing down, reading, and unwinding from this year.  Maybe it's because junior year was so hard (which it was), or maybe it's because as my faith grows, I start to understand the necessity to embrace every moment I'm alive and use every moment to grow even more.
Either way, school is basically done, and although I have a very busy summer, I plan to use all my time following where God leads me.