Sugar

Sugar was my baby boy, my pet guinea pig. He'd been in my life for 5 and a half years. This afternoon he passed away. He will be dearly missed. I love you Sugar.

I honestly don't know what to call this...

Life has been having its ups and downs lately, but I think things are headed up. I'm now out of that impossible July-summer-break-laziness and I've promised a few people I will have cleaned up my life by the time I start high school, August 25th. So it's down to work for the next two weeks.

I've got a few pictures to share with y'all from Cape Cod. Then it's back to cleaning my room I believe. These are of some sunsets on the beach. Enjoy.

The Price of Peace

[Note: Sorry for the awkwardness of the post. This is new to me and I've been working in this since April. I hope it doesn't take away from the message.]

What is peace?
This is the definition from a dictionary:

1. freedom from disturbance, quiet and tranquility, mental calm; serenity
2. freedom from or the cessation of war or violence

A close friend of mine, upon hearing this definition replied, "I totally disagree with them. 'Cause man, my life has been full of pain, crap and almost open war with church-goers. And yet I've been peaceful at times."

We had been discussing the idea of peace after realizing that peace (real peace, explained below) is a very hard thing to come by. My friend agreed and said that along with that, you had to decide how much it's worth. You had to decide if peace is worth everything, or if there are other things that are worth more.

Like truth. Or hope. Or love.

Is truth worth more than peace? Or is peace worth more than love?(and so on) To answer these questions, you have to have a definition of peace. You have to know what it is. The above definition doesn't seem to work. I think peace is a feeling you get in your soul. A sense of bliss, clam and joy. It's "not worrying even during the pain and struggle."

Or does it go deeper than even that? My life always seems to be too dramatic to be peaceful. The only peace I can find is when I look to God and let him lead me and love me. In church, my pastor begins the service by telling us to greet each other and pass the Peace of Christ. So, the Peace of Christ is something that can be shared. And if you ask me, the "Peace of Christ" seems to match the definition I came up with.

Now that we have a definition for the Peace of Christ, can we answer those questions? Is there something worth more than peace for you? Is love, or hope, or truth that important? Would you be willing to give you that feeling of calmness to feel loved? To feel hopeful and optimistic? To be dealt with honestly? I don't know about you, but I feel like peace is a package deal. When I am peaceful with God in my heart, I feel loved, I am hopeful. With the Peace of Christ in me, I feel Truth in my soul. So maybe, just maybe, we don't need to decide if peace is worth more or less. Maybe, the price of peace is just believing in God and Jesus and giving our lives to them.

I Will Be Here

I love Stephen Curtis Chapman's music. I Will Be Here just played on my iTunes and I thought of something my sister BethAnn did a few weeks ago that seemed to work with this one. I didn't include names, but there is a certain name to go with each.

Tomorrow morning if you wake
up and the sun does not appear
I will be here

~My friend, one of these days the sun will start shinning for you.

If in the dark, we lose sight of love
Hold my hand, and have no fear
'Cause I will be here

~My brother who lost his way and lost his true love because of it.

I will be here

When you feel like being quiet
When you need to speak your mind
I will listen

~My sister, you've always done this for me; now it's my turn.

And I will be here
When the laughter turns to cryin'
Through the winning, losing and trying
We'll be together
I will be here

~My sister, no matter what comes of our current challenges, we're only a phone call away.

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the future is unclear
I will be here

~My sister who isn't sure of the right path for her future.

Just as sure as seasons were made for change
Our lifetimes were made for these years
So I will be here

~My brother, 14 years is not long enough.

I will be here
And you can cry on my shoulder
When the mirror tells us we're older
I will hold you

~My friend who dreams of a time when things were simpler; when we were younger.
And I will be here
To watch you grow in beauty
And tell you all the things you are to me
I will be here

~My best friend forever, you are becoming a beautiful young woman, and I hope one day you will be able to see that too.

I will be true to the promise I have made
To you and to the One who gave you to me

~My brother, I will keep my promises and I thank God for you everyday.

Tomorrow morning, if you wake up
And the sun does not appear
I will be here
Oh, I will be here

Purity Ring

I got a purity ring today!!!! It's pretty :D

It says True Love Waits on it. For anyone interested, I am going to be wearing it on my left hand ring finger(wedding ring finger) and do not plan on taking it off very often.

Now to decide if I'm going to that dance...

Abraham Lincoln

Hmm, well yes, I knew Abraham Lincoln was a genius, and well yes, I knew it would be hard to translate his works to english 8th graders can understand, but I didn't realize it would be this hard! I mean, I already knew that most of my peers don't have a large vocabulary, but honestly!

Alright, so it's not as hard as I would make you believe. The project is due Thursday, and I think there's a chance I'll survive it. I decided that I'm going to shorten and make the speeches "modern" and present some facts for each. Hopefully, I can present it to the class in under 15 minutes and still make it interesting... I'm doing four speeches:

• Emancipation Proclamation
• Gettysburg Address
• Second Inaugural Address
• Last Public Address

So far so good! Maybe this will work out after all.

So very quickly, I wanted to share a few things I've learned about Abraham Lincoln. Some of you may be familiar with his famous "House Divided" speech, so named for the statement, "A house divided against itself cannot stand." Well, this is a shortened quote by Jesus in the New Testament. Mathew 12:25 "Jesus knew their thoughts and said to them, 'Every kingdom divided against itself will be ruined, and every city or household divided against itself will not stand.'" (NIV) I also wanted to share a few quotes from him that I liked:

"I now wish to make that personal acknowledgment that you were right, and I was wrong." Imagine if present-day politicians were this humble.

"Without the assistance of the Divine Being who ever attended him, I cannot succeed. With that assistance I cannot fail." Ain't that the truth!

And finally, my personal favorite is the understandably irritated statement from President Lincoln to General McClellen. "Dear General, if you do not want to use the army I would like to borrow it for a few days."

I bid y'all good night, with a question for any Uncommon members(however many there may be left): What's up with the site?

And now... back to work!! :D

GivesMeHope

A very good friend of mine just showed me this site.

I was having a bad day.

I read some of these, and I felt better than I have all day, and let me tell you, after how I've felt today, feeling good has never felt better :D

Course, then I realize that I have a history project due Thursday and it really isn't working out well... Why do good feelings always end when I remember school?

Anyway, here's the link and if you're anything like me, be prepared to cry. http://givesmehope.com/

PS: Yes I did leave TU, and I'm still working on the homeschooling.

Lord of the Dance

Lord of the Dance is one of my favorite hymns. I have the song memorized, and I can often be heard singing it and loud as I can when I'm alone in the house.

Well, today I copied the lyrics and put them on a Pages document with a cool background and formatted it then saved the PDF. I am extremely happy with how it turned out and it's now my desktop :D

I thought I'd share it with y'all. (yes, the top is a little cut off, sorry)

For those of you who don't know, these are the lyrics :

I danced in the morning when the world was young,

And I danced for the moon and the stars and the sun,

And I came down from heaven and I danced on the earth,

At Bethlehem I had my birth.

Dance, then, wherever you may be;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be,

And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.

I danced for the scribes and the Pharisee,

But they would not dance and they would not follow me;

I danced for the fishermen, for James and John;

They came to me and the dance went on.

Dance, then, wherever you may be;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be,

And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.

I danced on the sabbath when I cured the lame,

The holy people said it was a shame;

They whipped and they stripped and they hung me high;

And they left me there on a cross to die.

Dance, then, wherever you may be;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be,

And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.

I danced on a Friday and the clouds turned black;

It’s hard to dance with the devil on your back;

They buried my body and they thought I’d gone,

But I am the dance and the dance goes on.

Dance, then, wherever you may be;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be,

And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.

They cut me down and I leapt up high,

I am the life that’ll never, never die;

I’ll live in you if you’ll live in me;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

Dance, then, wherever you may be;

I am the Lord of the Dance, said he.

And I’ll lead you all wherever you may be,

And I’ll lead you all in the dance, said he.

Guest Post: From BethAnn to Sara

Sara dear.

You've blessed me beyond words. You've inspired me. You've helped me through many hard days. You've practically wiped my tears away, even though you weren't with me. You've made me roll with laughter. You've talked to me about everything, from Predestination to planning our wedding days. We've talked about our hopes, hurts, lives, hates, and coffee.... We've planned to make havoc when we meet, and I can't wait!
YOU, my dear, are a true friend. I love you, and thank you for everything. I can't wait to meet you, you awesome person. God has used you, in my life the months I've known you. God bless you, my sister.
I loooooovvvveeee you so much.
BethAnn

A story for thought...

This is an essay called The Room.

In that place between wakefulness and dreams, I found myself in the room. There were no distinguishing features except for the one wall covered with small index card files. They were like the ones in libraries that list
 titles by author or subject in alphabetical order. But these files, which stretched from floor to ceiling and seemingly endless in either direction, had very different headings.

As I drew near the wall of files, the first to catch my attention was one that read "Girls I have liked." I opened it and began flipping through the cards. I quickly shut it, shocked to realize that I recognized the names written on each one. And then without being told, I knew exactly where I was. This lifeless room with its small files was a crude catalog system for my life. Here were written the actions of my every moment, big and small, in a detail my memory couldn't match. A sense of wonder and curiosity, coupled with horror, stirred within me as I began randomly opening files and exploring their content. Some brought joy and sweet memories; others a sense of shame and regret so intense that I would look over my shoulder to see if anyone was watching.


A file named "Friends" was next to one marked "Friends I have betrayed." The titles ranged from the mundane to the outright weird. "Books I Have Read," "Lies I Have Told," "Comfort I have Given," "Jokes I Have Laughed
at." Some were almost hilarious in their exactness: "Things I've yelled at my brothers." Others I couldn't laugh at: "Things I Have Done in My Anger", "Things I Have Muttered Under My Breath at My Parents." I never ceased to
 be surprised by the contents Often there were many more cards than expected. Sometimes fewer than I hoped. I was overwhelmed by the sheer volume of the life I had lived.


Could it be possible that I had the time in my years to fill each of these thousands or even millions of cards? But each card confirmed this truth. Each was written in my own handwriting. Each signed with my signature.


When I pulled out the file marked "TV Shows I have watched," I realized the files grew to contain their contents. The cards were packed tightly, and yet after two or three yards, I hadn't found the end of the file. I shut it, shamed, not so much by the quality of shows but more by the vast time I knew that file represented.


When I came to a file marked "Lustful Thoughts," I felt a chill run through my body. I pulled the file out only an inch, not willing to test its size, and drew out a card. I shuddered at its detailed content. I felt sick to think that such a moment had been recorded. An almost animal rage broke on me.


One thought dominated my mind: No one must ever see these cards! No one must ever see this room! I have to destroy them!" In insane frenzy I yanked the file out. Its size didn't matter now. I had to empty it and burn the cards...

But as I took it at one end and began pounding it on the floor, I could not dislodge a single card. I became desperate and pulled out a card, only to find it as strong as steel when I tried to tear it. Defeated and utterly helpless, I returned the file to its slot. Leaning my forehead against the wall, I let out a long, self-pitying sigh. And then I saw it. The title bore "People I Have Shared the Gospel With " The handle was brighter than those around it, newer, almost unused. I pulled on its handle and a small box not more than three inches long fell into my hands. I could count the cards it contained on one hand.

And then the tears came. I began to weep. Sobs so deep that they hurt. They started in my stomach and shook through me. I fell on my knees and cried. I cried out of shame, from the overwhelming shame of it all. The rows of file shelves swirled in my tear-filled eyes... No one must ever, ever know of this room. I must lock it up and hide the key. But then as
I pushed away the tears, I saw Him. No, please not Him. Not here. Oh, anyone but Jesus.. I watched helplessly as He began to open the files and read the cards. I couldn't bear to watch His response. And in the moments I could bring myself to look at His face, I saw a sorrow deeper than my own.. He seemed to intuitively go to the worst boxes. Why did He have to read every one? Finally He turned and looked at me from across the room. He looked at me with pity in His eyes. But this was a pity that didn't anger me. I dropped my head, covered my face with my hands and began to cry again. He walked over and put His arm around me. He could have said so many things. But He didn't say a word. He just cried with me.


Then He got up and walked back to the wall of files. Starting at one end of the room, He took out a file and, one by one, began to sign His name over mine on each card. "No!" I shouted rushing to Him.. All I could find to say was "No, no," as I pulled the card from Him. His name shouldn't be on these cards. But there it was, written in red so rich, so dark, and so
alive. The name of Jesus covered mine. It was written with His blood. He gently took the card back He smiled a sad smile and began to sign the cards. I don't think I'll ever understand how He did it so quickly, but the next instant it seemed I heard Him close the last file and walk back to my side. He placed His hand on my shoulder and said, "It is finished."

I stood up, and He led me out of the room. There was no lock on its door. There were still cards to be written...

There is a question about who really wrote this essay, so while I'd love to give credit where credit is due, I am not sure who it is due to. Either way, I did not write it and whoever did did a very good job. :D

For God so loved the world that He gave His only Son, that whoever believes in Him shall not perish but have eternal life. John 3:16

Welcome

Welcome to my blog, Blog2b. Like I say in the corner, I called it that because it was called that for a while when I couldn't think of a name, and more importantly because I hope God will use this blog to make it whatever He wants it to be.

I'm not really sure what I'm going to use this blog for. I'm just going to post what feels close to my heart and talk about it a little. If you have a comment, feel free to share it with the world!! (Or whoever reads it anyway)

Once again, welcome. Come, pull up a chair and enjoy the words I write, whether or not they make sense. :D